A Story To Give Hope To The Homeless: Part 3
After living in my second house in 2 months it was beginning to feel normal to be moving around so much. As the beginning of May came around me and my sister had to leave the place we were staying again. We then moved in with my mom, dad, my brother and my sister. 3 of my brothers were in 2 other places and had a home there for now. So I lived with half my family in a two bedroom apartment with my moms friend and her 4 children. I was very happy to be with some of my family again though it was often very crazy with many little children and at the time we had also gotten head lice. Not fun.
I could look back on April and see everything. It had been a long month. At the time my mind was crowded and caught in the moment. I could see my tears and my heart was hard as I had fought for my sister. I had felt it was my responsibility to protect her. I knew school had been hard for her so whenever someone would press her or talk to her about school I would stand up for her. I knew she was scared. This was new for her. She was only 9. She couldn't be expected to adjust so fast to a whole new lifestyle. And neither could I. I was horrible. I felt sorry for myself and expected people to feel the same way towards me. I could hardly get through school without crying and often times I would get into fights. So I was almost relieved when I moved. Yet at the same time...it was sad. I was leaving my "sister." My dear friend who had come to be family to me. We had had so many fun times. The odd things we did, the inside jokes, the memories we made. But in May I still had to carry the scars and wounds from some of it and I wasn't quite ready to move on. I was afraid that at church it would be awkward seeing them again knowing everything that had happened and I thought for sure people would think less of me because of it.
So a new adventure unfolded before me. I was with some of my family at long last and got to be a small light to the unsaved family we were with. Soon enough though my 2 little brothers also came to live with us. We were a family again...minus my older brother. Yes, there was a lot of drama. All 8 kids we 8 and under so lots of fights and screaming took place. But we would make it. We had to.
One of the things that amazes me is how it all worked out. The redhead I lived with never talked bad about me to my friends, instead she told everyone about the month she had two "sisters." I can talk to them and know that I am forgiven. The feeling of forgiveness is an amazing one. To know that you are not judged by what you have done. Whenever we talk about that month we talk about the fun times. All of the bad has been wiped clean. I am new. I am not defined by the sins I have committed. So for that I am very thankful.
God continued to mold me during that time. He was shaping me to be the women of God He wants me to be, and He continues to change me with every new day I can feel myself falling more in love with Him.
I could look back on April and see everything. It had been a long month. At the time my mind was crowded and caught in the moment. I could see my tears and my heart was hard as I had fought for my sister. I had felt it was my responsibility to protect her. I knew school had been hard for her so whenever someone would press her or talk to her about school I would stand up for her. I knew she was scared. This was new for her. She was only 9. She couldn't be expected to adjust so fast to a whole new lifestyle. And neither could I. I was horrible. I felt sorry for myself and expected people to feel the same way towards me. I could hardly get through school without crying and often times I would get into fights. So I was almost relieved when I moved. Yet at the same time...it was sad. I was leaving my "sister." My dear friend who had come to be family to me. We had had so many fun times. The odd things we did, the inside jokes, the memories we made. But in May I still had to carry the scars and wounds from some of it and I wasn't quite ready to move on. I was afraid that at church it would be awkward seeing them again knowing everything that had happened and I thought for sure people would think less of me because of it.
So a new adventure unfolded before me. I was with some of my family at long last and got to be a small light to the unsaved family we were with. Soon enough though my 2 little brothers also came to live with us. We were a family again...minus my older brother. Yes, there was a lot of drama. All 8 kids we 8 and under so lots of fights and screaming took place. But we would make it. We had to.
One of the things that amazes me is how it all worked out. The redhead I lived with never talked bad about me to my friends, instead she told everyone about the month she had two "sisters." I can talk to them and know that I am forgiven. The feeling of forgiveness is an amazing one. To know that you are not judged by what you have done. Whenever we talk about that month we talk about the fun times. All of the bad has been wiped clean. I am new. I am not defined by the sins I have committed. So for that I am very thankful.
God continued to mold me during that time. He was shaping me to be the women of God He wants me to be, and He continues to change me with every new day I can feel myself falling more in love with Him.
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