Saturday, November 30, 2013

I'm A Winner!

Last night I reached my goal....

   I WON NANOWRIMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   That's right. I am proud. I wrote 52,479 words in a month! I also haven't even finished my novel yet. Maybe a thousand-two thousand more and I'll be finished. Just a few finishing scenes to wrap it all up. Honestly this month has taught me so much. I've really grown a lot as a writer and I've discovered things I never knew about myself. The old saying goes "You never know your limits until you're pushed to them." I have found that this is true. I had no idea I could write 1,600 words every day for an entire month. What else can I do every day for a month? I feel unstoppable! I know that if I really set my mind to it, I can accomplish anything.

   So how have I spent my day and how do I plan on celebrating further?

   I went out with one of the coolest guys I know this morning, I will be enjoying tons of sleep tonight (even though I have to wake up early for church.) and I got a 22 pack of popcorn and some sparkling grape juice to celebrate! I also got a new phone which I'm in love with!

   Also, thanksgiving! I had a great day then; we went to a family friends house and we played Catch Phrase and Name 5 which I sucked at but it made me laugh. I've really been enjoying having my brother home from college and I don't want him to go back.

   Now for some "currently's"

   Currently:
   Reading: Eleanor & Park.
   I love it! It's so cute! And the X-Men references! Ahh!

   Drinking: Hot chocolate.

   Feeling: Giddy and happy!

   Eating: Popcorn! (It's been my writing fuel all month.)

   Stressing: Math

   Completed: Saving Autumn!

   And my youth groups talent show is in two weeks and my band is performing and I'm doing a musical act with my friend who's playing the guitar for me. I want to record it to put it on here. I'm doing another thing the day of the show but some people from group read this and I want to surprise them. haha:) But I'll certainly write about it after!

   But now the vigorous task of rewriting my novel begins. I definitely want to self publish if I can get it fixed up and stuff. So be praying for me for that and also for the talent show. I don't know if I've ever asked any of you this but how can I pray for you? Please, always feel free to leave me prayer requests or message me on my Facebook Page or email me or something. I love talking to you and praying for you! This weekend God answered a really silly prayer of mine and that made me smile ridiculously. Its cool to see that He really cares about every aspect of my life.

   Well, that's all for now.

   Happy writing and God bless you!<3 p="">

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Inspired By The Day Of The Doctor

   Happy 50th anniversary Doctor Who!

   Yes I was one of those weird nerds who dressed up to watch the special extra long episode to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. It.was.amazing! I loved the humor and sarcasm and all of that, but there was something that really stuck out to me. See, God is so weird. He teaches me things in series'. He'll stick to one lesson (or maybe two.) at a time and He'll show me this point in a lot of things. Well this time He's doing in a Doctor Who themed way. (Thanks God. You're cool.)  *If you haven't seen the episode and want to, don't read past this point.*

   Allow me to reminisce for a moment.

   I remember the night like it was just yesterday. I was in 8th grade and it was 1am and I was on my way to my very first missions trip. I had been waiting for that day since I was 9 years old. All of the kids in the van were crazy with excitement. We drove on the expressway and passed by the city. I stared in awe at the skyline and all the bright lights that broke through the darkness of the night. We had been blasting music the whole ride and dancing along with happiness. That was when my brother got us all settled down and he played a song for us. Before he played it he told us he wanted us all to listen closely to the lyrics and to not let this moment simply pass. He wanted us to really think. He gave us a statement and a question from that song. Just those two things. "This is your life. Are you who you want to be?" As 'This Is Your Life' by Switchfoot played I just stared out the window at the passing city and I pondered that question with sincere thought. That moment has never escaped me.

   Today in the episode of Doctor Who, the Doctor met 3 of himself from 3 different times in his life. There was 1 mistake he regretted more than anything else he had ever done. The oldest Doctor of the 3 got to see himself and who he would turn out to be. I sat by the television screen with peaked interest as they all conversed throughout the episode. It made me think. Hard.

   If my 10 year old self and my 13 year old self could meet the person I am today, would they be proud?

   Am I who I've always wanted to be?

   Am I doing things that my future self will thank me for?

   These were my thoughts as I watched the Doctor Who 50th anniversary. This is my life; I can be whoever I want to be. Am I living up to that? Am I being all that I have the potential to be? Maybe in some areas I am. But in more ways, I am certainly slacking. What would 10 year old Princess Faith say to the young woman she would turn out to be?

   Maybe it would be something like this "Faith, you have such big aspirations. But you're still so stuck thinking about what other people think of you. You're trapped in a bubble of self doubt and you're so afraid to have a voice. So why do I think the opposite of you? When I think about the young lady I want to be when I'm 17, I see her as strong and courageous. And spontaneous. Crazy spontaneous. She's not fearless, she has a lot of fears, but they don't control her. Faith, what are you so afraid of? Go out there! DO something! Fear is something I struggle with. How many years has it been for you? Get over it. Get over yourself."

   But then, there could be more positive things to be said as well. "Faith, you've been through more than I have. I never thought my life would turn out this way. And I guess that's part of the beauty. You're doing things. Right there, caught up in the moment, you don't think you're doing enough but you can't see the effect you have on people. RAIM; that's something that's just beginning in my life. I just came to know Christ 2 years ago; I'm still a baby. Look at you! Look how far you've come! Don't you dare give up now! You're at the peak of something wonderful. I can't believe that's who I become one day. You're still so shy but there's a light in your eyes, and you speak more than I do. And when you do, you inspire. Because that's your intent. I'm locked up in my old thoughts. But not you. I'm glad to know I become someone great."

  Two years ago at camp I wrote myself a letter that my leader would send me 8 months later. She did, and I got to read it and I still keep it. It was a letter that I wrote to my future self. Here is a bit of what I said: "I'm challenging you to really change. I dare you to be the kind of woman that God has called you to be. Be the kind of girl that others want to be like, but watch your pride....People are gonna make you mad, but don't let it get to you. Be strong in the Lord and remember what He has pulled you through."

   I've grown so much and I've overcome so much. Sure I've failed a lot but I'm certainly not where I was lsat year or two years ago. I'm moving forward and I want to continue to do so. I want to be who I've always wanted to be. I want to be someone that my child self would be proud of. I want to continue to grow so that I can be proud of who I become later. What about you? What would your past self say to the person you are today?

Friday, November 22, 2013

Dressed In Red Photo Shoot

   This week has been great. Today has been great. My life is pretty great.

   I've finally gotten to the part in my novel where I can start bringing in the drama and lead to the climax which I am crazy excited about! Soon I'll be writing the scenes that I had envisioned when I first thought of the idea. I'm happy to say that I think I finally have a title. Drum roll please.

   *Drum roll*

   Saving Autumn.

   Thoughts? Questions? Comments?  I hope you guys like it and I really hope you guys will all read it some day. There is a possibility that I could sell it on Amazon (which would rock!) via self publishing. I've heard a lot of bad things about self publishing but that's from authors that want success. I don't give a rip about success I just want to be able to hold my book in my hands and be able to tell people that if they want they can buy it instead of having one hand written copy in a notebook like I had with the last book I wrote. So self publishing sounds good. I would make like, 85 cents a book but I'm not in it for the money either. But there would be sooooooo much work and editing and revising and rewriting that I am not looking forward to.

   But now onto other things. Today I went out with a woman from my church as well as my best friend. We went to a Colombian bakery (my best friend is Colombian.) and a cultural museum which was amazing! Diana (best friend.) let me take pictures of her so I could practice my photography. I am in love with these pictures! She did fantastic with the modeling! I hardly had to tell her what to do. She just naturally posed perfectly. It was amazing! I hope you like them! I love hearing feed back.





















   Seriously, I've never been so proud of  portraits before. I really hope you guys like them because I adore them! And special shout out to Diana who hates pictures but is a good friend and took one for the team. (The Jesus Dream team that is.)

   <3 p="">

Monday, November 18, 2013

Accepting Limitations

"Don't wanna call you in the night time, don't wanna give you all my pieces, don't wanna hand you all my troubles, don't wanna give you all my demons. You'll have to watch me struggle from several rooms away, but tonight I need you to stay."-The Run And Go, twenty one pilots.

   This is what I've been feeling like these past few days. No, I haven't been pushing people away. I've been having to sit back and watch people struggle knowing I can't do anything about it. Its such a hard position to be in, especially if you're like me. I always feel like its my personal responsibility to take away everyone's problems. I want to save every life and take away every problem. I'm so very sympathetic. I've been sympathetic to the point of lying on my floor crying because I can't help someone. It kills me inside to watch someone suffer. Sympathy isn't a bad thing, its a gift that we can use to help others. But there are times when we can't help and so we're stuck hurting. I know when someone I know is hurting, I hurt. It sucks sometimes but I always need to remember that its God's gift to me even when it feels like a curse.

   The sad reality is I can't save the whole world. I can't do it all. There comes a point where we have to accept our limitations so we can stop putting such a heavy burden on ourselves. God has made me notice this in my life. There are also times in our lives where we have to sit back and watch someone go through a trial on their own. I'm in that situation. But God revealed to me that that's another aspect of love. I guess you could call 'love being patient.' The Greek word for patient is 'makrothymeo' and it means "to be of long spirit, not to lose heart. To persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles. To be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others." I always go on Blue Letter Bible to look up Greek word definitions when I do long bible studies and out of all the words I've looked up, this definition is my all time favorite. When I read that for the first time it blew my mind. The bible calls us to love with this kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Patience isn't simply waiting, its enduring.

   When you're in my boat where you can't do anything to help someone, what do you do?

   Accept your limitations and let God fill you where you can't fill yourself and know that your adequacy comes from Him. We cannot be sufficient on our own. Also, be there for them. Don't give up on them; continue to pray for them and show that you're there. I like that part from The Run And Go where he says "tonight I need you to stay." He wasn't asking for them to take his burdens away or save him, he simple says I need you to just be here. Sometimes your presence is all that is required and I know, you might feel totally useless doing that but you're not.

   I guess that's just one of the things that God has been showing me. It's a hard thing to learn and it'll probably take me a long time to finally put this all into practice but its a start.

   And as for a NaNoWriMo update: I'm halfway there! Yay!!! I want to not be so lazy this week. I also might post my book on Wattpad, or at least a few chapter if you guys want a sneak peek. Maybe? I think my book is so boring....but its getting written so that's all that matters! And my sister got a blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Follow her blog The One And Only Time Lord. Press the title for the link:)

   Until next time.
   May the Force be with you!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

NaNoWriMo

   I'm 13 days into NaNoWriMo.....

   And I haven't given up yet

   And I'm at the word count I'm supposed to be at.

   Yes. BE PROUD!

   Honestly I didn't think I had it in me to get this far. I know some people who are very behind and other who have given up completely. I've been writing every day and even though its been killing me because I've been lazy as heck, I want to change that this week and try and actually get out of my house and exercise or go for a walk. But I've written over 20k words. I've written 82 pages in 12 days. That's a lot of writing! Unfortunately I haven't been able to think of a title for my novel yet which I would like to have before I finish. I don't even have an official synopsis either. I'm always very reluctant to tell people what my book is about because...I don't know. Its a writers thing. Another thing I would like to get done is a book cover. I have virtually no ideas for a cover but I want my sister to model for it but she hates doing those things for me so if I can drag her out of bed long enough to do a photoshoot then maybe I'll get somewhere.

   So if I shared what my book is about could you guys help me brainstorm titles?

   Alright! Thank you! I'll also share some more experts from it because you guys are the best!

   My novel is about the journey of a high schooler named Allison Miller. She struggles with an eating disorder as well as self harm. She devotes her whole life to becoming thinner; that is, until she discovers that her sister, Autumn, whom she has never known well, is also trapped in a vicious depressive cycle. Allison becomes determined to help her sister slay her giants, while she still fights on her own inner demons.

   Its a story of courage in the midst of trials and pain, selfless love, and unwavering friendship.

   How does that sound to you? As I was writing that I had a title come to me, which was actually really cool. (This is why I love blogging. It helps me think.) But I want to hear what you guys think! Titles anyone? And here is one of my favorite quotes thus far.

   “Have you ever sat by the window with a mug of hot chocolate and watched the rain drip down the glass? Or driven in a car with the windows rolled down and music blaring? Have you gone to the beach and just run down the lakeshore? You get that invigorating feeling and you just feel so…alive. That’s how I know. Because that feeling is far too wonderful to be an accident.”


Happy writing! May the Force be with you!

Monday, November 11, 2013

Things You Might Not Have Known About Me

If you read my last post that you know I want to be honest and to speak truth. One way I want to do that is to be honest about who I am. Faults and all. My favorite tumblr account is And That's Who I Am and its all just things that could be true about people. So if you follow me on tumblr than you know that I post from them a lot. I was going to add all the pictures but instead I'm just going to share some weird facts about me. I don't think anyone will take the time to read all these weird things about me but I want to share them because it's my blog and I do what I want. I love making lists too. This post is more for me because I blog to sort out my thoughts so here you go. Things you probably didn't know about me.

-I dream of getting my writing published
-I'm terrified about college
-I'm a thinker not a talker
-I'd rather be behind the camera than in front of it
-I'm flexible
-I have brown eyes
-I adore blue eyes
-I love ball gowns
-I love letters!!!!!!
-I dwell on my mistakes
-I love oversized sweaters
-I'm quiet but I have a lot to say
-I get awkward when people compliment me
-I don't want to be afraid anymore
-I love being home alone
-I like fictional characters more than real people
-I can't wait to prove them all wrong
-I love deep conversations
-I want to fall in love
-I see beauty in everything
-I'm obsessed with quotes
-I'm incredibly blessed
-I've changed a lot
-I put other people before myself in a lot of areas
-I dream of being in a real band
-I'm always apologizing
-I want blue hair
-I'm Irish
-I want to inspire someone
-I'm afraid of fire
-I wish I wasn't so awkward
-I wear snapbacks (when they aren't lost....smh. Btw, I lost my snapback. I'm sad. End of story.)
-I think too much
-I'm nice to everyone
-I'm afraid of dogs
-I hate talking on the phone
-I can never be mean
-I wish I could play an instrument
-I write songs
-I see the best in people. (Always.)
-I've never been on a date
-I don't like crowds
-I want to do something crazy for once
-I dwell on dreams
-I disappear in a crowd

Friday, November 8, 2013

Speak Truth

   "So while you have today you should say all that you have to say."-Roger Rabbit, Sleeping With Sirens

   "I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasures of saying true things."-Augustus Waters, The Fault In Our Stars

   The first quote has been on my mind for a very long time and the second one I just ran into yesterday. I've been thinking about that a lot and I realized that those are words to live by. I realized that I am a fairly honest person; but I wanted to be more honest. That first quote is rule number 3 in my unwritten rule book. Because really, why aren't people more honest? You don't know what tomorrow holds. I firmly believing in not holding things back from others. Life is too short to do otherwise.

   I always tell people I love them; I do it frequently. I always tell people what exactly it is that I appreciate about them and if someone makes my day, I tell them. Because I want them to know; because they deserve to know. I don't think I could stand it if I never took the chance to tell somehow what they meant to me and then suddenly was deprived of another chance. A lot of people find it odd when I do this sort of thing and some of them don't know how to respond. I don't take it personally. But I think its something everyone should do. I try to make it a daily habit to encourage someone or share something that has the potential to speak to someone.

   It can be scary. Sometimes I hold back on saying something, but then I think about it and ask myself "Why not?" You never know when your words could breathe life into someone would have died without that breath of air. If its true, than say it. But also make sure that you speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15.) Our words should be used to build each other up, not to tear down.

   What's holding you back from speaking truth?

 


Monday, November 4, 2013

Pictures And Excerpts

   Happy fall!!!

   I just wanted to throw you guys a post since I don't know how much I'll be blogging. But you guys like pictures right? And you want to read a quote or two of my novel right? Well then this is your post! So, an update on my life, I'm actually ahead in NaNoWriMo! That's right! WOO! I also got to go with a couple from my church to a forest preserve for some intense photography. (They're also fellow photographers!) I'm working on trying to take the perfect picture to make as the cover for my book but I don't know. I don't really have a synopsis yet or even a title. But I've got over 7,000 words written for it so that's what counts right? I wanted to share some snippets of the book with you and I'll share more once I find a part I particularly like. What I wrote tonight was probably the best its gotten so far and I'm relatively happy with how its coming along. Its weird to think that by this time next month I could have a whole written book. Crazy. Also, I started reading the Fault In Our Stars. I'm crying because Augustus Waters. Okay? Okay. (No pun intended actually. Though I doubt that's classified as a pun.)

   So without further ado, pictures and excerpts.

   "Her blue eyes that resembled oceans now looked like there was a storm brewing in them."

   "But I pretended to be OK. And it worked. I don't have to see a therapist very often anymore. They're very gullible people; all you need to do is tell them what they want to hear and they think you're cured. By sophomore year everyone thought I was as good as gold when in reality, it was ten times worse than when it had started."

   "After that, time froze still. I never thought I would have a life defining moment while bringing my estranged sister a bag of pop corn. But I guess that’s how those moments come; unexpectedly and usually unwanted."









Friday, November 1, 2013

Black And Whites

   Yesterday I was looking at some of the photography of Fransesca Woodman and I was blown away by it! A lot of her stuff was, well, less than awesome. But I read up on her and loved her story. Her photography was described as "intense." and that was the best description word I could find. She mostly did black and white pictures, and even more frequently, self portraits. What fascinated me most about her self portraits were the fact that her face was always obscured or blurred. Her pictures relayed such emotion and depth. She killed herself was she was 22, and many of her pictures have depressing themes. My favorite picture of hers is this one.


   I can't even explain what I love about this picture. I've never had a good eye for art and all that stuff, but yesterday I just felt so inspired and I really felt like I could connect to those pictures and I could see through Woodman's eyes. I've really been able to grow in my photography skills with my new camera. Since it is nicer than my old one I have to ability to expand in my learning and I love it! It makes me happy. So here are some Fransesca Woodman inspired photos that I took! Tell me what you think!

   










   Also, NaNoWriMo is this month! It started today! I ACTUALLY HIT THE WORD COUNT FOR TODAY!!! I didn't even think I could do that. lol. But I did! And that makes me so much more optimistic for the rest of it! I'm doing it for my RAIM kids so keep me in your prayers. (As silly as that sounds.) I want God to use me through my fiction writing. If you want me to post an excerpt of my novel then say so in a comment and I might post some:)

   I hope you like the pictures! I'm actually proud of them. God bless and may the Force be with you!<3 p="">