Thursday, June 20, 2013

No Fear

As most of you know I run a ministry called Rise Above It Missions with my friend, Eilobell. Last week I had mentioned how we had been doing some major things with the ministry and all this. We were super inspired and we felt like God wanted us to be doing more. On Sunday we talked to our pastor about getting some help from the church and they talked about it at the elders meeting and they did have a few concerns about it and just our safety and stuff, which is understandable. I'm really glad they were able to help us with some things we never would have thought of. But all the elders were really positive about it and they wanted us to make up a list of 5 specific ways the church could help us out. Not small little favors, they said to ask anything. That was a bit frightening because I was all like "I feel like I'm being  bother or a burden and..." etc. It was hard to stand firm and know that this was my position. I was able to make that request and do so boldly.

   That day the whole pressure of what I had committed to finally dawned on me. And yes, I cried. I was suddenly jerked awake to some hard to face realities. Like, 1. I would now have a giant target on my back. People who are doing God's will get attacked by the enemy often. And as the Jedi Kyp Durron once said "Those who do good often have many enemies." That scared me a bit. 2. I realized how serious this role was. Of course I had always taken my role seriously but like...woah. I'm just going to leave it at that. And 3. I knew I couldn't afford to be insecure about anything. I had to know my position and know who I was in Christ. I needed to know that He is my firm foundation. Because if I doubt for a second, the devil could use it against me. I can't wonder that "Hmm, maybe I'm not strong enough for this position." or "I am not equipped enough to help these people." No. There is no room for that kind of thinking here.

   That reminded me of Matthew 14:22-36. When Jesus walks on the water. When Peter saw Him out on the waves, he wanted to go and be with Him. So he did. He began walking on the water towards Jesus. But he saw the waves and became afraid, and he started to sink. Jesus helped him up and they got to the boat and Jesus asked why he had doubted. A guy from my youth group did a talk on this story and it was probably one of my favorites that he's done. He pointed out that in verse 30 it says that Peter saw the waves and became afraid. When his focus was on Jesus, he was able to stand. But the second he looked around to see the storms, he sank.

   I can't look around at all the possible waves that could hit me right now, my focus needs to be on Jesus. I can't worry about the what ifs and all that. I need to know that I can walk on these waves and I can do this. I'm learning to recognize what things are reasonable worries and things I should think about and try to fix, and the things that are just lies from the enemy trying to make me back down.

   Of course all of this had to remind me of some geeky thing right? Yes! I'm not sure why but I was reminded of this scene. Because when the devil tries to attack me, he best be aware that this is what will happen...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Marina's Story

Alright, I know I've been writing some really heavy posts this week and I'm going to do a few more. I had been praying about having a guest to come and post on my blog but I didn't know who and I really wanted God to show me who. I thought I was going to ask one of my followers but then God showed me someone! She is someone I know personally and I heard her story when she spoke at our AWANA club one night and I loved it. Everyone loved it. She is such a fun person and she is a really good swing dancer! I've seen her dance before and its so beautiful! I hope her story inspires you! Ladies and gentlemen, introducing: Marina!

 My name is Marina Moeller, and I'm here to tell you my story. I'm 15, almost 16 and when it comes to beauty insecurities I'm one of the founding presidents. My story isn't something I'm afraid of, but rather I'm changed from. When I was in the 7th grade I got braces (I don't have them anymore.) Anyways, when you get braces it hurts like heck and you really don't feel like eating. Also at the same time my mom was very serious about losing weight. I thought "why not?" I could lose a couple pounds; at the time I wasn't extremely insecure or unhappy with my size. So one thing lead to another and I started losing weight quick from the braces and the "healthy" foods. All of a sudden I liked the way I looked; slim. I can't exactly explain how I got so bad but all I can remember I stopped smiling, I was depressed, I judged not only my body but others too. My hobbies, my friends no one could make me happy. I became sick with this notion that the only way others would think I'm pretty or that I'd think I'm pretty is through being a stick. 

   Long story short I was diagnosed with Anorexia. If you don't know what that is it's an eating disorder where you starve yourself. So during this time I was fighting with so many emotions like "why me?" or "how did I let it get this bad." I have never experienced or imagine I will experience something again that is so earth shaking that it takes all you have and the strength of others around you to come out of something like that. I'll admit I was mad at God, I believed He made me ugly and I was angry with the thought that that might be true. I prayed every night almost subconsciously that something would change in me. I went to therapy for about a year, all my feelings were the same I just wanted to feel beautiful and I couldn't understand why others thought it was wrong. Of course looking back I obviously see that starving yourself is incredibly unhealthy and it almost tore my family apart. It almost tore me apart, it almost consumed me. Finally after praying, pleading and thinking for hours I decided I wanted to change. After being in the dark almost an entire year I was ready to take a leap of faith in God and I began eating again. I began doing things that I enjoyed; it took a ton of time to recover to where I could feel normal enough to even begin to eat out. I had to go through many tears when I started gaining back weight and none of my old clothes fit me. I had to face the people I hurt when I was shutting them out and would lash out at them. All in all the time after I was in the darkness was more difficult than being in the darkness itself. I didn't know I was destroying myself at the time, but knowing my own pain was worse. I can gladly say I'm a completely new person from the experience.

    My relationship with my family and friends are stronger and I have a different relationship with God, I'm not mad anymore. I learned so much about people who really care for me, my own self determination, and beauty. I will not lie and say that I still don't deal with old feelings sometimes cause I do. I'll admit that I sometimes still feel un-pretty, but I am not and will not be the same girl again. I'm better. If your dealing with issues or feel ugly, you're not alone and you don't have to be. You have a great support system in people and God. I hope this helps anyone struggling, please believe me beauty is way more than skin deep.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Rainbow During The Storm

Yesterday I wrote a pretty long post and it was probably a hard read because it was so long and also because it was a really sad thing to read. When I wrote that I was reading a lot of the things I had written in my journal during the time and I saw that when my life was at its worst, how people rallied around my family to protect us and to help us. Today I want to share the things that made that time better; the things that people did to bring us hope. I always knew that God had a plan, I wrote that very often in my journal, but for me, that knowledge didn't make my situation suck any less; and a year ago or so I started ending every journal post with a truth about God and His character. I would recommend doing that. It helps you to stay focused and see that God is good despite your circumstances. But now I want to toast to all of the people who made that time for me a little easier. Because I could never have done that on my own.

   Of course my siblings and my Mom. Dayle would sit and talk to me through all of it and so would Mom. One day when my Dad was coming to get some stuff after he had moved out I started to cry and Shane came over and just gave me a big hug and let me cry on his shoulder and he told me everything was going to be ok. That was very special to me. Then of course there's the Llanes to thank, they were the family I lived with for a week. They have 6 kids themselves, yet they took in all 8 of us kids and my Mom. That's kind of a big deal. We only stayed for a week but they didn't even want us to leave then! Because at that point my Dad was so unpredictable that he could show up again at any time. But they supported us and helped us.

   Yesterday I wrote about the time I cried the hardest in my life; that night at around midnight I called my dear friend, Eilobelle, and she answered her phone and talked to me until I calmed down a little. It was almost midnight. She had school in the morning. She should be sleeping. Yet she talked to me for a few minutes and that meant so much to me.

   After all the drama that happened on Christmas I was just not doing well so I posted on my small group page that I needed prayer. Right away I got a text from my friend, Becca, asking if I was ok. I told her I just had an awful Christmas. You know what she said? She said that I deserved to have a good Christmas because I was always doing things for others and she said that the next day she would take me to the store and buy me a book. (We're both really big book nerds and I never get brand new books to I was just shocked.) Sure enough she did, we went with a bunch of friends and she got me a new book and a cool notebook. I treasure those things so very much.

   There are so many other people who simply gave me hugs or spoke kind words to me and I wish I could name every single instance but that could take all day.

   So how is my family after all of this? Its kinda funny but, we're stronger. The house is so much more peaceful and we're in such better shape. My Dad had started on this path 3 and a half years ago or so. I didn't realize it at the time, but thats when it started. When we were homeless. Because he felt like a failure for losing his job. He was always really bad at spending money we didn't have but now Mom is managing the money and we're doing good. There were so many things that Dad never let her do but now he has no say. Since she's managing her money well she can afford to buy some nice things, like she bought some new school books for us and for her birthday she got herself a little mug from her favorite show, Deadliest Catch. I'm not trying to bash my Dad, I do still love him even though I am still angry at him, but its the truth. Once upon a time he was the best father in the world. It saddens me that he stopped being that dad a while ago. Its sad because my siblings won't have the same childhood memories as I do. I remember playing Barbies with my Dad because my Mom always hated Barbies. But he would play with me. We used to go on bike rides to the movie store and the library all the time. We played wiffle ball a lot too. He was my favorite AWANA leader. He really was that dad. It hurts me because he gave up the most important thing in his life for something that was temporary and would only hurt him. In all honesty, we got the better end of the deal.

   So there it is. I love my life and I love my family. I've gone through some rough situations but it made me stronger. God is good. All the time.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Fathers Day

Yesterday was kind of a hard day for my family. Fathers day. See, its time I opened up about what's been going on in my life. Alright, this is going to be a super long post but it might be worth reading.

   I live in a 2 flat, which is basically a house with another house upstairs. My grandfather used to live here but after he passed away, my family moved in upstairs. We were finally was able to clean the downstairs apartment up enough to move in a year later. So that's where I've been living. Once we moved downstairs we had that extra apartment upstairs and I was talking to a lady from my church a she said she was needing a new place to live. I told my mom and she thought it seemed like a good idea since we all loved her. I won't use her real name so lets call her Ariel. So Ariel ended up talking to her best friend, Erika, who's a single mom about rooming with her. (Again, not her real name.) This all happened in August.

   Now, let me give you some background on these two ladies. I lived with Erika and her son during the time we were homeless and it was honestly an incredible month for me. I was in her cabin at my youth camp last summer and so much happened that week and she taught me so much. She was a real role model for me and so many people loved her. She always knew how to make people laugh and she taught so many people about being honest with one another about our struggles. Ariel is an amazing person. She has a weird new hair color every week and she's one of those people with tons of piercings. She's a ton of fun and we share a lot of the same interests. I look up to her as well. So look at that? Those people would be my new upstairs neighbors! Sweet right? Well, no. Things were already bad and I knew this would make things go from bad to worse real fast. But I had no idea how much worse that would be. See, my dad had always had a good relationship with Erika. A little too good. They both had the same interests and same sense of humor and what not. They hung out way too much and this had been bothering me since 3 years ago. But my dad was always one to talk bad about people who had affairs and he signed the Resolution (from the movie, Courageous.) and his favorite movie was Fireproof. (He also did the Love Dare a few years ago.) So I thought I was just paranoid and needed to put more faith in my dad. So I let it go. Well shortly before Erika moved in I was in my room with my sister and I asked where our dad was and she replied with attitude, "He's with Erika.." She spat her name out. It was then that I knew it wasn't just me. That night we sat up on my bed and talked about how much this had been on our nerves for years, it was good to let it all out after all this time. I told her I didn't think they were having an affair, but their relationship was not God honoring, especially since they were both saved and knew better.

   After they moved in, (In September, the month Mom found out she was pregnant.) I hardly saw my dad. Every night he would walk to 7-Eleven with Erika and Ariel after work. A few times I thought about going to my mom and even my dad about it, but I figured if it was really a big deal then my mom would say something to him. So again I let it slide. After their walks they would sit out on the front stairs and just talk, I could always hear them from my room and I would clench my fists and wish I could stop them. It got on my nerves so much. A few times my mom would go out there with them but she didn't say much.

   But there was one night I'll never forget. I was laying in bed with my lights shut off and I could hear their laughter from my window but I never knew what was being said. I was just crying. It was late so all my siblings were asleep except my older brother and my other sister. Over the laughter I heard my mom scream something at my brother and burst into tears. I don't know exactly what she said but I heard enough to know that it was about my dad and Erika. I opened my door to see my mom at our computer table with her head down and she was sobbing. My brother, Shane, was rubbing her back and hugging her and trying to calm her down. "They're completely wasted!" I remember her screaming at us through her tears. I had no idea they had been drinking, let alone that they were totally drunk. I wanted to be so strong for my mom but couldn't, so I ran into my room and wept. I was so mad. How could my dad just get drunk outside with this woman while his wife was right inside crying her eyes out?!? I didn't understand any of it. That night was the worst night of my life to date.

   They would sit out there every day and laugh and the days when my dad was off work the next day, they would get drunk. This went on for 2 weeks. I cried myself to sleep every night. I never saw my dad, none of us did. He didn't care anymore and the worst part was, I didn't know why. One night I remember so well. It was the night I realized that my mom might actually be a superhero. Mom, Dayle, Shane and I were in our living room while the rest of the kids were asleep and Dad and Erika were drunk outside. We were all in a sarcastic mood so we just laughed it out. But Mom went out there and was talking with Dad saying "Come on honey, you need to go to bed." She spoke as if she were talking to a 3 year old. But she was so sweet with him and she tried to persuade him to come inside because unlike every other time this happened, he actually had work in the morning. She quietly took away his Jack Daniels and hid it inside. Of course, Dad didn't like that very much so he through a fit and went to the store to buy more. So the 3 of us stayed up and talked. I learned a lot that night; like my dad had been smoking since before I was born and he always chewed tobacco. That really bothered me. Shane also left the Resolution he had signed on this bed we made for him on the floor along with the first picture he ever took with my mom from the day they met. But when he went for more alcohol he almost got arrested because he was so drunk and...yeah. It was an awful night.

   In December, Erika was admitted to the hospital. She has depression issues and all this stuff. But my Dad blamed my mom for it. Because my Mom stood up to them and told them what they were doing was wrong and according to my Dad "Mom's jealousy put Erika in the hospital." Mom went to get advice from a wise woman from our church and she said that she needs to talk to my Dad and if that doesn't work, they would have an elder talk to him. That month was the hardest of my life. I was upset all the time and stressed and always crying at night and the stress caused me to lose tons of sleep.

   Christmas day came and since my dad had been drunk the night before, we had to wait for him to finally get out of bed before we opened presents. He pretty much forgot about me when he went Christmas shopping so all I got was a radio. Thought thats pretty good because all Shane got were a few packs of Magic cards. Dad put no effort into it. I gave my Dad the Fireproof book. (See what I did there?) So after all the presents were opened, Dad left. We didn't see him until about midnight. Mom had finally had enough so she went out to confront him. From the living room I heard him. "I'm in love with Erika!" Later that night he collapsed on our stairs. I just cried as I watched my Mom, Shane, and a family friend, drag my Dad to his room. Needless to say, Erika moved out after that.

   The day after Christmas an elder came to talk to my Dad. My family left the house for the day so they could talk. That day...I remember coming home to see my parents sitting together on the couch and my Dad came to me and gave me a very long hug. "I'm not going to drink any more. Ok? You guys mean to much to me. No more drinking, I promise." It was over. I just sobbed. The storm had passed and it was finally over. We were gonna be ok. Right?


   On January 2nd my Dad left. He just quietly packed his bags and snuck out the back door. I had kinda seen it coming, but that didn't make it hurt any less. That night I was just...numb. He moved out and moved in with Erika and her parents. But soon after that she kicked him out and said to never speak to her again. So for weeks it was back and forth between staying the night at our house to moving back in with Erika. She was so moody she literally kicked him out every other week.

   One day when my dad came to pick up some stuff I ran and hid in my closet because my mom just told me they were going to file for divorce. My Dad had been sleeping with Erika since December. Of course, he found me sitting alone in my closet crying and he made me come out. We sat on the end of my bed and he had his arm around me. He said how sorry he was and how he never meant for this to happen and how Erika didn't want us to hate her, which I thought was an awful request to make, and he basically told me he just didn't love my Mom anymore. "And its ok. I just don't feel anything anymore. Ok?" He said he was done. "That's why I did this." I watched him pull up his sleeve to reveal a bandage around his wrist. I began to sob. I don't mean I cried hard, I mean I couldn't speak because my throat was so tight and I my body began to shake and I felt weak. Once he left I had to run to the bathroom because I was going to throw up. I've never cried so hard in my life.

   There was a week in December where we had to live with a family from our church for a week because my dad was at our house drunk. I cried because he broke his promise to me. It was an interesting week and it was good to come home after that.

   But it is what it is. Dad has been living with Erika and I could give you more details but this is already one novel of a post. I'm sorry for that. I cried at church on Fathers day because of all that. Because my father wasn't really much of a father to me these past few months. But it was ok. Because God is my Father. And He is perfect. My earthly dad broke my heart, but my Heavenly Father made it whole again. Today we're going to make cupcakes for my mom for being the amazing mom she is. She's been taking care of us 9 kids by herself ever since then. Can I get a round of applause for my Mom?

   And a round of applause for you if you finished reading this post.

   My name is Faith. God is funny that way because He just teaches me every day that I just need to have faith.

   My family, we're doing good. God has blessed us beyond all we ever thought possible. We were broken, but God is healing. We may be weak, but our God is strong.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Ministry, Ministry, Ministry.

Wow! Last week was a crazy week! I did more stuff for my missions trip to earn some money and I earned enough so I am paid in full! YAY! In exactly one week from now I will be in a hot van full of some of my favorite people and we'll be Tennessee bound! I am SO excited! I can't wait to see what God has in store for us up there. I have a feeling it will be a very impactful week for me. I hope I have as big of an impact on the people there as they're bound to have on me.

   But this week I met with my best friend and ministry partner, Diana, a few times to work on our ministry. We prayed a lot and invited more people to Like our Facebook page and did some work on the site and just brainstormed about what we could do to expand our ministry. Especially in ways that would take us out of our comfort zone. So today we talked to our pastor and asked him if there would be any way we could get some sort of advertisement or support from church and he told us to type up a short paper about what exactly we do and such and to have it emailed to him by tonight because they're having an elders meeting tomorrow. So please be praying that they would choose to support us even in by simply praying for us at each meeting.

   One thing we have made sure we do whenever we see each other is to pray for this ministry and for some friends and other things like that. We have really been praying for more people to get involved and God has really just blown us away with how good He is and teaching us how powerful prayer is. Diana and I had seen each other on Thursday and we prayed, and then we prayed again the next day and invited some people to Like the page and did some advertising and by Friday we had gone from about 30 Facebook Likes, to 45. We are now at 47. God directly answered that prayer. It was so amazing. My own personal page even went up to 40 which made me very happy. One other thing we did to increase our audience was we got a Twitter! You can follow us @RAIMissions.

   Diana also have the privilege of getting to follow me around on a mini photography expedition. I wanted to get some pictures I could edit for the Rise Above It site. So I got a few cool pictures. Though when I came home and looked at the pictures on my computer I realized that most of them were grossly out of focus which bothered me so very much. But I would like to share the few good ones I did get.

   So this week should be fun! I am so excited to see what God does with this ministry. Its all for Him. But keep us in your prayers, especially since Diana and I will both be going on the missions trip next week. Its going to be amazing! Yay! God is so awesome!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Liebster Award

One of my favorite blogs, Holonet Entertainment Daily, run by the lovely Edessa Carrick, has given me the Liebster Award. Thank you Edessa, you rock! Now I need to state 11 facts about myself along with the answers to the questions I was asked when I was given the award, and then I must hand the award to 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers. Sound good? So make sure to scroll to the bottom to see if I nominate you! Ok, now onto 11 facts about me.

1. I love to dye my hair crazy colors!

2. Helping people is a huge passion of mine!

3. I sing in a band called Pineapple On The Go. haha:)

4. I really love red lipstick. (Though I've only ever worn it once.) But I think it looks classy!

5. I took figure skating for a few years when I was a kid and I used to want to be a figure skater when I grew up.

6. I always cry at the end of X-Men: First Class because Charles Xavier....

7. I just finished reading Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick and it was so gooooooood......(but it did have a lot of language. Eww.)

8. My favorite shirt is a firemans tee that I got from my uncle. It was his old work shirt. I'm wearing it right now.

9. I really like potatoes.

10. I'm super moody. All the time.

11. I overthink waaaaaaaaaaay too much.

Yay! That was actually quite difficult. I can always think of random things about me that I want to post about but whenever I do one of these things I forget them all. Typical. Ok, now for the questions Edessa asked me. Here we go.

1. If you could go anywhere in the world for any amount of time, where would you go?
   Probably China. Because I've always wanted to go there. I have such a soft spot for Chinese culture and stuff ever since I was a kid.

2. Least favorite food?
   Fish. Like....eww. I get sick just smelling fish. Earlier this week I tried to convince myself that I liked fish so I ate some rice with salmon in it...yeah no. I ate as much of it as I could but it was nasty.

3. Biggest pet peave?
   When people leave the peanut butter and the knife they used out on my counter!!!! Put your food away!

4. What's the best movie/TV show/video game you've ever watched/played?
   That's a tough one. I'll just go with my default answer for everything. Star Wars.

5. Do you prefer junk movies (movies to watch just for entertainments sake.) or deep movies?
   Depends on my mood. But I prefer deep movies. But realistically, I can turn any movie into a deep inspirational movie, even a junk movie.

6. What's one of your favorite memories?
   Wow. This'll be hard. Probably my missions trip last year, or something from my childhood. I really love my memories from when I lived in my old apartment where I grew up. When we would go outside and play wiffle ball and go swimming at the pool across the street and rollar blade around our courtyard. Just little things like that.

7. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?
   Doing ministry work and bringing people to Christ. Being a speaker of some sort and maybe even using my singing voice too. And I definitely want to have a family of my own.

8. Number 1 fandom?
   STAR WARS!!!!!!!

9. Who would you rather be stranded on an island with, Deadpool or Wolverine?
   Probably Deadpool. Because I think he would be better company.

10. Describe your room in 3 words.
    Small. Geeky. Cozy.

11. What's your dream job?
   Speaker/singer doing ministry for Christ.

   I would like to hand this award off to
   Heavenly Princess
   and Becky Starrson

Your questions are:
1. (I'm going to steal one that I answered.) Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
2. Puffy cheetos or crunchy ones? Explain your answer.
3. What's your favorite book and why?
4. Who's one person who has greatly impacted your life?
5. What is something someone has done for you that made your day?
6. Coke or Pepsi?
7. Would you go skydiving if you got the chance?
8. What is a boy name your really like and a girls name you really like?
9. Favorite bible verse?
10. What's your favorite thing to wear?
11. If you had $500 to spend at any single store, which one would it be?

Monday, June 10, 2013

This Post Contains Prom Pictures!

Yeah sorry, I really had no creative title for this post. (That was actually going to be the title but I decided to save that for another time.) So I've had a pretty fun week last week and I think I'm in for another one this week. On Saturday a bunch of my friends had prom so I got to go and take pictures of them and their dates which was a lot of fun. Then I was invited to the post prom party, so we all went to the beach at midnight and played volleyball. After volleyball we went to IHop and then to Wendy's for frosties. It was an...interesting night, to say the least. Then on Sunday after church, me and my friend, Diana, went to work at a historical society nearby! I got to work there last year to model vintage wedding gowns and that was such a cool experience! All the people there are wonderful and so very nice. After we worked they even let us try on an old wedding dress! While I was working I found an original Star Wars VHS tape and they said I could keep it! So really, these people are the bomb. Here's a picture of one of the wedding gowns they had on display there. They gave us a tour of the place and it was great because it was just us. Imagine having your own mini museum all to yourself and being able to touch and try on all the stuff. That's what it was like.

So on Sunday night we had a meeting for all the kids going on the missions trip at the end of the month. It was just kind of to prepare us, spiritually, for the trip. We'll be going to Tennessee to help families with kids who have life threatening illnesses and to also help those kids. So please be praying for us. I am super excited for this and I have the feeling its going to be life changing. Pray that God would use me. I really want to be impacted and I just have such a strong desire to help people.

   Annnnnnnd today I got to work at a ladies house who goes to my church. It was awesome because I got to see more vintage stuff! She collects dolls and old things in a general really. She had an oil lamp that was 120 years old! She also had some cooking things and stuff like that. She also showed me pictures of her some of the work she's done, since she's really crafty. She made some custom wedding cake toppers which looked perfect!

   Now! Its time for some prom pictures! They didn't turn out as good as I had hoped and it was kind of a rough day for me emotionally so I definitely wasn't at the top of my game. But here they are! I hope you like them.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Welcome Izabelle Grace!

Yesterday a little princess was born. Her name is Izabelle Grace. She's my new little sister. She was born at 1:30pm and she weighs 5 pounds and 15 ounces. She's a tiny little girl. My sister, Dayle, and I got to be there when she was born, along with my Mom's friend. Sadly, they probably won't be home until tomorrow, so that means I'll be role playing as Mom until she gets back. But even once she comes home I'll have to take care of the kids a lot more so she can rest.

   Yesterday after Izzy was born I came home from the hospital and got really sick. I was exhausted and had a very upset stomach and a massive headache. So I pretty much slept all day except for about an hour when my friend came over to attempt to teach me ASL. (Yeah that failed, it was way too hard for me to focus with my heachache so we just talked.) But yeah, my mom did fantastic. It was so sweet to see her talk to her baby. You could just see the love in her eyes. This picture is a good one to portray the emotions she had.

So yeah! That's really all there is to say. But I am very excited she had a girl. I don't know if I could have dealt with another boy. So for all of you that don't know, Izzy is baby number 9. I don't think Ryne (the next one up. He's 2.) fully understands that he has a sister. He has only seen pictures of her. 

   When my mom was still maybe, 5 months pregnant, Lois told my mom that she had a dream that God told her the baby was a girl. Sure enough, she was right. When she was born she got a little pink hat with a bow on it that I love! She is such a precious little girl. I got to hold her in the hospital and she just felt so light! It was almost like holding a bundle of blankets, but there was actually a baby in those blankets. I can't wait for her to come home so I can see her and Mommerz!
 It's going to be an interesting week and I'm a bit worried about my mom for when she comes home. The kids tend to get a little crazy when they get a new sibling. As much as I'm sad that they won't be coming home today, I'm also glad because they need all the rest they can get and it'll be nice and quiet there. I hope I can get better pictures once they come home because it was so hard to take them in the hospital because I can't use flash (for obvious reasons.) and the lighting was really bad at the hospital which, combined, makes a bad setting for picture taking.

   But in other news, I got to do a photoshoot with my lovely friend, Maddi. (you can follow her on Twitter @MaddiLandmesser) It was kinda hard because it had just rained and was still misting a bit. But I did what I could and overall they turned out pretty good. I'll probably post those pictures another time. I want to get in the habit of posting more of my photography. I've been messing with my camera a lot and practicing not using any auto settings. (Which was the advice I got from my favorite photographer, Savanna.) I've also been getting more photography books to become familiar with all the settings and what not.

   Annnnnnd that about covers it for today. Just some more randomness, I want to see if I can get 50 Likes on my page, I'm at 35 right now so if you haven't liked it, head over to that by using THIS LINK. And share the blog and such with your friends:) I've also been trying to get some more stuff going at My ministry page. If you have a story you want to share, your testimony, or a struggle you've been dealing with or overcame, and want to encourage some others, then post it on those forums! Share your stories and your advice!

   So that is all for today. May the Force be with you!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Silas Edenfield

Back in March I made a post about a little boy named Silas. (You can see that post by clicking THIS LINK) If you Like my Facebook page then you already know the news. Little Silas passed away on May 25th. This news hit a lot of people very hard. Silas really impacted my life and taught me so much. My sister was also heartbroken because she loved this boy like he was her own little brother. It really was a bittersweet day. How can I say that it was even a little sweet? Because Silas' prayers for the week prior to that day were him asking God to let him come home. He talked about getting his new body that would be cancer free and getting to meet God. He really wanted to go. Silas was also in pain; but not anymore. He got his new body. I am so happy for him, yet I'm sad for all the people that are still here who miss him. I would say rest in peace dear Silas but I know he's not resting, with his new body he has to ability to to run around and dance and worship God.

   This little boy changed lives. His faith in God was outstanding. Right now his Facebook page has over 50,600 likes. A few months ago the people at Sea World named a sea turtle after him (which he was able to meet.) because sea turtles are his favorite animal. His story has been in newspapers and news channels and places all over. He asked everyone to paint their nails gold for childhood cancer and so many people did. There was even a nail polish company who made their own gold color and called it "Silas Gold."

   Please pray for his family. Pray that God would give them joy and a peace beyond that of this world. Also, go show some support for childhood cancer; paint your nails gold or donate some money to a hospital or charity. So now I just want to leave you with this video for you to watch because it will make your heart melt. Silas Edenfield; that kid is my hero.

   (Well....sorry I can't get the video to work properly on this but I can leave you with the link to it.)

   Click right HERE to watch the video of Silas talking about heaven.