A Story We're Going To Pretend Is Fiction

   "This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story."-500 Days Of Summer

   A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a girl. She was upset because God was telling her to let something go and she didn't want to; she knew exactly what God wanted her to let go. A boy. So she pretended she didn't understand Him and kept asking what is was in hope that He would change His mind. Of course, that didn't happen. Eventually she asked God for two things: a very specific sign and to take away her feelings for the boy and to put them where He desired them to be. Both happened very quickly. She got her signs. She cried as she let the boy go but after that she was fine; God truly had stripped away her feelings for him. She had almost forgotten the last part of her prayer; the part where she asked God to put those feelings where He willed. She thought it wouldn't happen for a while, she would finally be free from petty boys and the drama they carried with them! She knew God would place her feelings in the right man at the right time and then she would be with that guy for the rest of her life, so she was happy to enjoy her life being free from all of that drama.

   But there was a plot twist.

   Suddenly the girl found herself falling for another boy. "How can this happen?!" she wondered. Because God was only going to allow feelings where He willed. So that could only mean one thing...this was God's will. The girl responded like any girl would in that situation. "Heck no!" You see, she was falling for someone she swore she never would. The moment she met him she promised she would never ever like him; he was a flirt and he had led one of her best friends on and talked to her every day and then suddenly stopped. He had a reputation for doing that. She told God that this was not part of the plan and therefore wouldn't do it. It was obviously a trap.

   Despite her utter reluctance, she fell for him. Hard. They talked every day and soon became good friends. They wrote each other letters and went out a few times; they weren't dating but everyone acted as if they were. Soon everyone knew about him and her; in fact, the news was so wide spread that the only two who didn't get the memo were the boy and the girl themselves. The girl knew he would never like her; after all, they were just good friends. Their conversations and jokes weren't flirty, they were friendly. Deep inside she pondered that maybe they were a bit more than friends, but she thought that he would be upset if he knew what she was thinking, so she dismissed it.

   Then people began to warn the girl about this boy she was getting to grow quite fond of. They told her stories of all the girls he had flirted with and then abandoned. They told her he was nothing and she could do so much better; but everyone had said the same about the last boy she liked. It was beginning to frustrate her. So the girl went to the one person she knew would help her: God. She prayed every night and asked God to show her what to do. "If these feelings aren't from you, Lord, rip them out of me." That was her prayer. Yet the feelings remained. She began asking for signs that this was His will; every sign came to be. One night she was laying down and God spoke to her. A small phrase popped into her head as if God had whispered it into her mind. He said "Do you trust Me enough to let go of all the things that other people say?" Yes; she trusted Him. So she let go of the stories people told of this boy and asked God to show her how He saw the boy. That was when she truly met the greatest guy she had ever encountered; because she wasn't seeing him how everyone else did; she saw Him how God did. He made her laugh and quoted movies with her; they talked about things no one else would understand, and she knew she could count on him for anything. She knew that God had done an incredible thing when He pointed her to him, and she was content with their simple but deep friendship. She thought that she had found her best friend.

   Everything was going perfectly. She knew that no matter how the boy felt about her, she was beyond blessed to have gotten to know him. He had shared wisdom with her and insight that she would hold onto forever. He had helped her in a way that no one else ever had before. She had one fatal flaw that everyone knew about but no one, not even herself, thought that maybe she could try to overcome. But the boy knew she could, and every day the boy helped her begin a journey to fight it; some ways were intended by the boy and others he might never know about. The boy understood her like no one else; they were the same. The only difference between them was that the boy was outgoing and fearless on the outside and insecure on the inside; and the girl was the opposite; insecure and utterly afraid, and yet deep inside she was brave. And yet she had no idea that courage was buried deep inside of her until the boy helped her find it.

   But that was when trouble came. The girl was so insecure and afraid that she was terrified of how the boy saw her. She was afraid to look foolish in front of him. The girl had never been one for talking, and that was the one thing the boy didn't understand. The boy seemed to be getting frustrated that she never spoke; he was no longer patient with her faults. Soon their conversations ran dry and started to decrease with frequency. After nearly 6 months of talking on a daily basis, the messages got shorter and their enthusiasm was running out, and as feared, they soon stopped altogether. They hadn't spoken for weeks when the girl received the terrible news; she had been replaced. He had a new best friend, and although she was quiet, she didn't have trouble talking to him like the girl did. So the girl did what she did best; she took all the blame on herself. It was her fault they didn't talk anymore, if only she had been brave for once, if only she could have talked more, if only she were smarter or prettier or less insecure. She had forgotten God's words to her about trusting Him; she remembered all her friends warnings and stories and she knew they had been right all along. Of course he had to leave, because that's what her dad had done, and as her mom had pointed out, he was just like her dad. How could God do this?! How could God promise all the to her and then take it away? Never had she questioned God before that day; but the boy had broken her.

   She slept the pain away and when she awoke she would cry; and she couldn't focus on anything and she didn't want to get out of bed. And the worst realization was that the boy probably got up that morning and carried on with his life without thinking of her at all, and she was crying because she couldn't stop thinking of him. It was a nightmare. There was one person who had always helped her with her nightmares, and that had been the boy. It was messed up how the person she wanted help from was the person who had hurt her. The girl was all alone with her shattered heart.

   And that's where the story ends.

   I'm writing this because there are many "boys." The girl wasn't the only one to experience this; and that's messed up. I'm writing this on behalf of my mom, and my three bestest friends, and my friend from camp; because they all had a boy who became their best friend, and left without explanation and without warning. I've watched them suffer through heartache, and in a few of those cases, I knew the boy too, and I got to watch the girls cry and the boys be totally okay. I have one question: how can you be such a strong man of God and treat girls around you like crap? How can you lead them on and watch them fall for you and let them hit the floor and simply walk away, all the while you love Christ and pray and seek Him? How can those things go hand in hand? In this story, one you sadly might be able to relate to, there is no closure, no answer to these questions. What was the boy thinking? What was God doing? Why would they do this? We'll never know. Often times we don't get answers for the biggest questions in our lives, but we can learn to be okay with that, and we can let the struggles make us stronger and we can walk a little taller and lean on God a little more. Circumstances change, but God doesn't. He knows that people break hearts, so rest knowing that God is in the business of healing them.