Hey! So I've been wanting to blog for a while now but I didn't know what to blog about. But today my mom told me to blog about what it's like having ITP. So this should be interesting.
When I was first diagnosed with ITP I was kind of like "Ok, I'm sick. I've never been this kind of sick before. Hmm. God will take care of it." As it went on and I was going to the doctor every week to get blood drawn it was rather annoying. Mondays became "Doctor Day" because every Monday I would go to the hospital to get blood drawn.
Most of the time I was fine with having ITP. But I've found it the hardest to deal with being sick on Sundays. Sunday night I have my amazing youth group. We start off the night by playing a really fun game...but now I can't play the games. I've always loved being active and playing sports so not being able to play crushed me.
The first few weeks it was alright and I knew I would get better eventually. But the longer I was sick and the more doctors appointments I had the more would get discouraged. I've had ITP for a long time now, and my doctor has said its a possibility that I may never get better. That my blood platelets may never rise. When I found that out I wanted to cry. What was she saying? I may never be able to play sports again? What about dodgeball, broomball, ice skating? This couldn't happen!
I don't remember exactly what happened but chances are I cried myself to sleep that night.
Some days I'm amazing and I have total faith in God but other days when I think about what I'm missing I start to lose faith.
I try to remember that my God is a God who heals. He raised Jesus from the dead, made the blind see and the mute talk! MY God!
Even with all the odds stacked against me, I have God on my side! And I will quote Han Solo just because I'm a geek, "Never tell me the odds." You know why? Because the odds are nothing. I have God and nothing will be impossible with Him. I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me.
I don't care what any doctors say. Doctors said my mother would never have children. She's now the mom of 8. Sounds to me like she beat those odds.
So what about me? My life is in God's hands. He's going to do awesome things through this rough time. I would rather my future be in His hands then my own. Because if I could have my way I would be better. But that's obviously not God's plan. That doesn't mean I'm going to have 100% faith in Him 100% of the time. Things will be hard, He never promised it would be easy. But He promised He would be with me. And He is.