The Oscars

   I watched the Oscar's for the first time last night.

   And it was amazing. Despite the fact that I was crazy sick from using all my spoons to play frisbee and football earlier in the day. Anyhow, by an unplanned turn of events (my mom leaving me at church because I was supposed to have plans with someone else) I ended up at an Oscar party with my Oscar obsessed friends. We got to make predictions about who would win. We ate great pizza. We screamed and aww'd whenever Jacob Tremblay was on screen. I fangirled over Daisy Ridley. Mostly I had to listen to it because the light was really bad for my headache, but I enjoyed it all the same. I got to see all the good parts anyway.

   As for the actual movies that won awards, I thought it was good. I had wanted Room to win best picture, but Spotlight seemed legit too so I'm sure it deserved the win. And Brie Larson, an actress from Short Term 12, my sister's favorite movie, won best actress for Room. I loved Pete Doctor's speech when Inside Out won best animated picture. I loved Lady Gaga's performance of "Til It Happens To You." I loved that everyone cried during that performance because there is something so powerful in crying with other people over the same reason. It's unifying. I loved that Leonardo Dicarpio finally won his Oscar, even though I'm sad my favorite meme is gone. I know he deserved it. Mad Max got so many awards and now I really want to see it. John Williams should have won best score, in my opinion, but heck, what do I know? Overall, it was good. I got 9/24 for my predictions, but hey, that's good for a newbie.

   It made me so happy for so many reasons. I know I certainly didn't look happy because I was curled up in a ball on the couch and even cried sometimes, I was happy. I was overjoyed to be in a house with awesome people watching awesome things on TV.

   I was journaling today about everything and I realized a lot of things.

   I loved the Oscars. Yeah, it had it's flaws. Everyone was complaining about the racisms and Chris Rock's jokes and sometimes he pushed it too far. But I think I enjoyed the sense of community. I loved live tweeting it and seeing my timeline be filled with people all over the place seeing the same thing I was seeing. In a way, the Oscar's is so stupid and pointless, but at the same time its relevant and important. At the end of the day, it doesn't seem to matter and yes we spend too much money on entertainment and there are so many bigger things in the world to be invested in or worry about, but really, its a blessing to be able to come together and watch something bigger than ourselves. I don't know how something can be pointless and so much bigger than ourselves. But art is that contradiction.

   It's incredible to think that those movies are all a part of someone in an intimate way. Like, someone poured their heart and soul into those films. They are someone's dreams and life goals. That's so important. By standing a recognizing those films, we get to be a part in recognizing human life and real people. We get to celebrate the fact that God gave the ability to think creatively.

   I'm even starting to become okay with how they talk politics, which I never thought I would say. A lot of people were offended but you can't please everyone. Chris Rock made a lot of jokes about Hollywood being racist, some were unnecessary, but he was being real. He also said that not everything was an issue of racism and sexism and I loved that because it was true. Just because he said it with a smile on his face didn't make it any less true. I think for a lot of us, humor is a way we can talk about scary things and not be scared by it. I know I do. I know I can either joke about something or cry about something; the latter option always seems best. Tears come but there are times the only way we can express things is through humor. That isn't making light of a situation, but rather, expressing it the only way we are able for a time.

   A lot of people hate how politics is brought into award shows, but in places where art is being recognized there is bound to be politics because they're interwoven. Art is a reflection of who we are as individuals and as a society or culture. Politics is oftentimes involved in those things.

   So I could appreciate all those actors who stood up and used their award as a platform to be an advocate for change even though a lot of them scared the living crap out of me. A lot of those films were about some heavy, yet real, topics and issues we face today. And those topics are scary and triggering. But art isn't always pretty and life is messy and true things can make you uncomfortable and that's okay.

   I loved coming together for something so stupid and pointless and artistic and amazing because that's what it means to be human. I'm often times terrified of living and tomorrow is so uncertain but nights like last night make me remember why I'm so blessed to live here and now. I think Pete Doctor said it best in his acceptance speech when Inside Out won an Oscar. "There are days you're going to feel sad. You're going to feel angry. You're going to feel scared. That's nothing you can choose. But you can make stuff. Make films. Draw. Write. It will make a world of difference."

   And that is does.

   Art and writing and photography have made a world of difference for me. Art has been a way for me to deal with all those emotions and more. When I'm scared, I write until I'm not scared anymore. When I'm sad, I take photos until I'm not sad anymore. I just create things until I can push those emotions out onto that medium.

   I guess that's what the Oscar's meant to me.

   Never stop creating.

   "A human must create. That is why we were created."-Tyler Joseph

My Oscar party > yours pic.twitter.com/UqbJvRkrV0

— Faith (Rey Solo) |-/ (@geek4God66) February 29, 2016