The Kylo Ren Epiphany
I wasn't going to post this I swear. Especially since I just blogged. It's personal and there are some things I only like sharing with people who have the courage to ask. But a few people did have that courage. Plus I was lowkey afraid of sounding stupid. But as it turns out, a ton of people favorited this tweet for some odd reason, and Beth wanted a blog post. I suppose I should stop beating around the bush and finally say I saw The Force Awakens
3 times and it was fantastic. And I fell in love with another villain. Who I might even like more than Loki.
Now, I'm going to say THIS POST CONTAINS ALL OF THE SPOILERS. I'M SO SORRY I GOTTA. So go see TFA and then come back and read this post! But seriously, spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers. Spoilers everywhere. Seriously, just do yourself a favor and go see it. You won't regret it.
So sermon time.
Now, you have to know a thing about me before this. Everything is spiritual to me. I can't watch anything or do anything without searching for some spiritual lesson. Mostly, I only share these things with my closest friends because people who don't ask why I like things don't deserve to know the answers anyway. But, like, I said, I'm sharing it this time. I always like things for reasons and they always say things about me. So don't make fun of me if I sound stupid during this whole post.
Okay, moving on.
So in The Force Awakens, the saddest part of the movie is the bridge scene. (Need I specify?) Kylo Ren (Ben. My son.) kills his father by stabbing him with a lightsaber. Obviously this is emotional on so many levels. But today I won't focus on how I broke my heart to heart my favorite character in so much pain or the fact that we lost a beloved member of the original trio, Let's talk about spiritual stuff.
It may come as a surprise to people that I rarely see myself as a hero. I tend to relate to the villains a lot more, so that's why I like them more. I'm not a perfect person, as you guys are abundantly aware. Like Kylo, I have anger issues. I am constantly torn because "I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it."
That scene on the bridge hit me because if I'm Kylo, then Han Solo would be...well, God. The more I thought about it the more true it seemed to be. Han Solo went onto that bridge knowing he would die. We all know he wasn't planning to get away. In order to show his love for his son, he had to demonstrate what lengths he would go to for him. He went to the extreme by leaving his blaster in his holster and showing he would die for him. Even after he gets stabbed you see him reach out to touch his sons cheek. Despite everything, Han forgave. He just wanted his son to come home. That was the only thing he ever asked for. He didn't ask him to clean up his act and come back once he had thrown away his lightsaber. He asked for him to take off his mask so he could see his son, but that was it. He just wanted to see his kid without the mask, to be able to look into his eyes at the child he loved so fearlessly.
And that's how God loves us. I wish I could such a clear picture in church of this. I wish everyone would let that truth sink into them because it would change the world. God came out onto that bridge for me; without his weapon, knowing it would be me that killed him. My sins. Yet he loved me even though I was, by definition, his enemy, he looked at me and saw his child. This just breaks me. I wish it broke me every day. I wish I lived in this knowledge every day. I wish I could understand how much God loves me.
Charles Spurgeon says this perfectly in his sermon "Love's Logic." He says "But this is the personal point-He loves me. An insignificant nobody, full of sin who deserved to be in hell, who loved Him so little in return-God loves me. Beloved believer, does this not melt you? Does not this fire your soul? I know it does if it is really believed."
God loves you with this insane, passionate love. He would die for you. He doesn't look at you and see the terrible things you've done. He sees his child. His grace is big enough for you. Even if you have turned away from Him so many times, He isn't keeping track. He just wants His child to come home. So return home. Go back to your Father. Christmas time is such a lovely time to stop and focus on God and the love He has for you. The fact that Jesus left heaven to be a human is enough to blow my mind; and yet there was even more.
Just take some time to dwell on that. I know I have a hard time picturing God because I have no idea what to think of and I'm a visual person; I like to be able to see things. So I jump at every stupid chance to get some hint of an idea of who God is; even if that means crying during movies that almost have nothing to do with God at all.
So that's it.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas. Remember that you are loved by God so immensely that even the biggest picture we can come up with isn't even close to how He loves us.
And may the Force be with you.