Wednesday, December 30, 2015

2015

   2015 is coming to a close and I'm trying desperately to figure out how the year went because I can never remember. So I'm at my laptop with my journal open and I'm flipped to the pages that mark the beginning of this year.

   Well, January was rough. 2015 was rough. I didn't know it was until now, looking back on everything. Yikes. This year started off crappily. My journal starts off with a rant about my position spiritually and my anxiety over seeing my best friend, who at that point I hadn't seen in like, 7 months because of an overseas missions trip. Shortly after that I had a lot of problems with my health and was sick for 3 weeks with meningitis, and was in the hospital for 2 of those weeks. I'm starting to realize that life really is two steps forward, one step back. I guess this year was my one step back.


   So, in brief, here are a few highlights (and lowlights?) of how my 2015 went.

   -Saw my best friend who I hadn't seem in over half a year.
   -Got snowed in with said best friend and watched the SuperBowl with her.
   -Had a kidney biopsy
   -Went through chemotherapy
   -Spent 2 weeks in the hospital. (And one night in ICU.)
   -Graduated high school. (And started college.)
   -Became theatre trash. (Fell in love with the musical Hamilton, performed in my schools production of columbinus, and joined my schools theatre club.)
   -Saw The Force Awakens 4 times and counting
   -Watched my first UFC fight (And realized I like fighting.)
   -Redesigned my blog
   -Saw Age Of Ultron
   -Was taken off all my meds except one. (No more steroids! Yay!)
   -Won NaNoWriMo for my 3rd time
   -Completed my first second draft. (If that made sense??)
   -Finally did The Thing God had been asking me to do for a year
   -Completed my first semester at community college with all A's and B's
   -Bought a DSLR and a laptop
   -Read 72 books the year I said I wasn't going to read. (Post on that coming soon.)
   -Dyed my hair teal
   -Saw my Internet friend again
   -Reached 100 blog followers
   -Met a new best friend
   -Starting working out at a gym
   -Went to my first convention
   -Began wrestling with my insecurities and anxiety all over again
   -Watched RAIM get 600 Facebook likes
   -Ended the year visiting my friend out of state.
   -Will spend New Years eve at a hotel with two of my favorite humans, partying it up with sparkling grape juice and cute dresses

   I know a lot of those things on that list are good, but overall, this year freaking gave me a beating. I didn't realize it until today, but I realized I'm struggling again. I'll be okay. I realized that getting up from a place you've been before is even harder than getting up the first time. Because you have to deal with the shame of thinking you could have prevented the backslide. That's kind of where I'm at. I've been knocked down, and the devil wants me to stay down. So I guess I have a choice now, don't I?

   I'm going to get back up. Eventually. Yeah I'm overwhelmed and yeah I think my health might be starting to flare up on me again and yeah I'm not where I want to be spiritually, God's got my back. I can't do this. But He can. I'm just going to keep saying it until I believe it.

   Of course, I've never been big on resolutions, but I feel like I should this year. Because even though we all forget them 2 months into the year, I like to think I'll accidentally accomplish at least one of them. So we'll see. I just want to have goals. Plus I like lists.

   Here are my 2016 goals.

   -Work on my anger issues
   -Be more honest
   -Be a better sister
   -Stop being so selfish over fandoms
   -Figure out where RAIM is going and what our plan is for that
   -Continue to grow
   -Stop being so hard on myself

   One last thing, I promise.
   I would really appreciate it if you took a few seconds to fill out this questionnaire.

   Thanks a billion!



   What are your goals for this coming year? How did 2015 treat you?












8 comments:

  1. A lot of stuff can happen in a year and that's why I think it's nice that we actually use this time that shouldn't be different from any other to reflect. You seem to have had a good year, and you're proof that even if you start the year down, you can pick yourself back up again. Have a Happy New Year and good luck achieving your goals x

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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  2. I'm so thankful for how real and honest you can be. Thank you for always being vulnerable. <3 I hope 2016 proves to be that next step forward for you! AND I STILL GET SO EXCITED WHENEVER I SEE YOUR NEW HAIR COLOR.

    2015 was a good year for me! A lot of things happened, certain things I can't explain or let out of the bag yet, which is really hard LOL but I'll have to write something up for my blog this week I suppose. XD I didn't accomplish half the things I wanted to on my bucket list, but I'm learning that it's ok if my priorities change during the year too. XD

    ~Jamie

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  3. I'm so glad we had each other to talk through this year...without your encouragement/the way we relate to each other so well, 2015 would've been a whole lot rougher. so blessed to have a precious friend like you. <3

    2015 was a blessing and a curse. I got really sick, but I also got better enough to see the way out. My spiritual life suffered, but now that my eyes are a little clearer I can see where I need to grow. And I'm ready for 2016. So so ready.

    (also, I just found out my new school has a theatre group and I lowkey want to join even though I've never been in a play and I'm not sure if they let online students do things with them. but it's there. it's a possibility. so we shall see what happens in the coming year.)

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  4. Oh my goodness I LOVE YOUR HAIR. I've always wanted to dye my hair or shave off a side or something dramatic like that but I always get too chicken. xD

    (And also this might be obvious but I'm new year so what's RIAM stand for?)

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    1. it stands for Rise Above It Missions. The online ministry I run for those who struggle with self harm, depression, and eating disorders :)

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  5. your blog is so lovely, faith! 2015 has been such a fulfilling year for me. although there were definitely emotional rollercoasters, God has been so faithful. i managed to accomplish some of my dreams this year (like finishing some insane exams), so I really am thankful.

    happy new year to you! may 2016 be the bomb ♥
    XXX -nameless writing

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  6. I'm a need reader and your blog is awesome Faith!!!!! My 2015 has its ups and downs, good days and bad days, but I learned so much and God took me on some of the best rides of my life. I accomplished a few things and have some news goals for this new year (finishing my story is one of them, being a better sister another one).
    Blessings,
    Kara
    P.S What do you do with RIAM? It sounds really neat!

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    Replies
    1. I send out encouragement to kids who struggle with self harm, depression, and eating disorders. I write blogs for our website (riseaboveitmissions.weebly.com) and things like that. its all online right now and Im trying to improve it. Im in college studying psychology so some day we can become a nonprofit recovery center :)

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