NaNoWriMo And Other Nonsense

   The last time I blogged was October 16th.

   Whoops.
 
   I keep meaning to but then my mind gets caught in all this overthinking with thoughts that range from "No one cares that you're writing a novel in a month" and "blogging is selfish and you should just delete yours." This is the first time I've ever gotten such thoughts and they're a bit...overwhelming, to say the least. However, it's almost midnight and I can't sleep and I already reached my word count for the day so I supposed I should give some sort of update or whatever.

   Well, let's see; I've had a lot on my plate since I last blogged. I've had a lot of questions and inspiration and realizations that I will save for a later time. For now, just know that I've had a lot swirling around in my little head.

   But the biggest thing has been NaNoWriMo! I had been super stoked for months before November and I think I started prepping in September, unlike last year where two weeks before the first of November I decided to do it. I've had this little plot bunny bugging me for months. I think it started at the end of summer. I have never felt this way about a story before and I want to talk a bit about that and share things involving this aspect of my life.

   See, I had almost forgotten how much I love writing and how much writing means to me. I love telling stories, and I almost forgot how. This was proven when I started writing this years novel and it was just total crap. I literally had forgotten how to write due to lack of consistency. The last time I wrote a story was in July, I think. Really, that's just sad. But being back at it again feels wonderful!

   I'm going to try not to give away anything and leave room for personal interpretation, since its always a temptation of mine to fully explain myself, as you must know, but I do want to say that this years novel is one that is very dear to me. As I'm 11 days into NaNo I realized that I've never been so vulnerable in my writing before. I have never felt like I had a real story to tell until this one came around. Everything about it just...it's beautiful. I keep praying that God would be glorified; that in some way He would use my silly little self to speak truth and reveal things to others. That's all I've ever wanted to do and for the first time I feel particularly drawn to let this story out. God must have something interesting in mind for this novel. What that means, I have no idea.

   I meant to write more than this but now that I've started I realize that's all I really have to say. Drop me a comment and let me know how you're doing! I love hearing from you. Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year? How are you doing and what's your story about? (Also, add me on the NNWM site! My name is Faitherz!)

   In closing, I hope you enjoyed my tiny update, and I'll leave you with the opening prologue of my novel, Forlorn Hope. Let me know what you think. If you want to read the synopsis, it's on my NaNoWriMo page.

"Yes, I am a Christian.

I’m sure you’ve already made a bunch of preconceptions about me. I’m sure it goes something like this: She’s got long blonde hair, only wears skirts, carries a bible around like it’s an IPhone, and thinks the word “sex” in of itself is one of the seven deadly sins. But I’m here to tell you that’s all false. First of all, I’m a ginger. Second of all, the only time I wear skirts is with my ripped jeans. Thirdly, okay, I love my bible but I mostly keep it in my messenger bag so I suppose that one’s partly true. But lastly, God created sex for crying out loud.

Other than that, yeah I suppose you could say my life was pretty stereotypical. I grew up in a family that was at church so much we should have had a drawer there, I got saved at four years old at VBS, and I memorize chapters of Scripture at a time. My family is actively involved in the youth ministry and my brother goes to seminary. The fact of Jesus was pretty normal for me.

I know you probably think that the Christian life is an easy one. In church it’s made out to be all happy-go-lucky all the time and they talk about God like He’s a genie who can magically take away all your problems. I know this is the case because this was the idea I had about God. From the get-go I thought that once you “got saved” (that’s Christian slang for believe in Jesus.) then your life would be perfect. After all, I had nothing in my life that would have told me otherwise. Sure we would talk about struggles and trials, but the biggest thing I ever dealt with was a math test.

But that’s not what the Christian life is. In fact, that’s the opposite of what it is. To be a Christian is to live a hard life. When we think of hard we think some-girl-gossiped-about-me hard. When in reality…it’s beyond all our wildest nightmare could concoct. Right now, I want you to throw all your ideas and bias’ about Christianity out the window because everything you think you know is a lie. Sorry to burst your bubble, but God isn’t a God of comfort. 

Now, I like to think that if I had known beforehand the turn my life was going to take when I was a senior in high school, that I would have accepted my burden and said “For Christ, I will do anything!” But looking back on all the horror I dealt with and all the sacrifices and pain, I know I wouldn’t have said that. If I’m totally honest with myself, had I know about all this stuff I’m about to tell you,  I would have looked at God straight on, then run as fast I could in the opposite direction."