KCACTF

   I wanted to blog about theatre fest. I still do. But in honesty I'm not sure how. I'm not sure which aspect of the trip to focus on. I'm not sure anyone cares. I'm not sure it's beneficial to my readers. But I know I want to remember it forever, so I guess you guys can just deal with it.

   On Sunday I came back from the Kennedy Center American College Theatre Festival. For 5 days I got to be in a hotel with 9 friends from my school's theatre department, plus our theatre art professor, along with hundreds of college kids from across the country. I don't know if there's a word to describe it, although 'amazing' definitely comes to mind. It was an adventure. I learned a lot about theatre and about myself and about people. I felt empathy, thought deeply, laughed, and surprisingly didn't cry. (No....wait. Okay, so that's not entirely true. I almost cried once, and I teared up a lot watching a show one day. But still! I cried for art, and that's it.)

   I didn't go to as many workshops as I would have liked, but I saw some incredible shows and got to watch two of my cast mates do amazing in their scenes and monologues for the Irene Ryan's competition. As for shows, I saw Afghanistan/Wisconsin (by Carthage College.) To Kill A Mockingbird, (Marquette University.) Equus, (Oakland University.) Mad World, (Ball State University.) and Q Gents Of Verona. (the Q Brothers.) Of all of them, Equus was my favorite. That was the one that made me almost cry. It was riveting and thought provoking and brave. I'm getting the written play from the library and then maybe I'll do a full review.

   I had so much fun at KCACTF and it's too much to even put into words. I realized how much I love theatre. I loved sitting and watching shows and standing up with everyone at the end. I loved looking out over the balcony of my hotel to listen to the sound of roudey college kids applauding at nothing. I loved laughing and having adventures and deep conversation with my roommates. I loved eating dinner with these people I realized I loved. And I loved that I was brave enough to do it.

   When I was first cast in columbinus, I was searching for the reason. I mean, what did I have to do? Why would God let this happen to me? What did I have to do? I told my mom this and she said "What if God just wanted you to be happy?" I said yeah right and continued asking questions but it was last week I realized she was right. Now, I don't believe in the prosperity gospel and blah blah blah, but really, God likes to bless us. And I worry so much about trying to help other people I never think that something could be about me because why would it be? But I think joining theatre was about healing me, and in turn, I could help other people. So, indirectly, it was about helping people. But it all started with me being able to see that I was more than I thought. I could get in a van with 10 people I had met at school and travel out of state with them. I could talk even if I was afraid, I could perform a silent skit with strangers at a theatre festival. I could be myself and be okay.

   It was through theatre that I think I've found a home and a family that's my own. No one chose it for me. And it's weird to think that people accept me there because I'm the baby of the group and the Christian and the newbie; and I don't smoke or drink or like to do a lot of the same things they all do, and yet they respect me.

   Theatre has helped me in so many ways, and I just started. I just stop and think a lot about all these ways people can learn to cope and grow that just aren't taken advantage of. I wish everyone could try something audacious and find a passion even if it scares them because it could change their lives. I think about the things acting has taught me about who I am and who God is. It's helped me to deal with a lot of crap that I wouldn't have known what to do with. I think art is so important for people and we miss that a lot.

   So basically I had a great time. Although, I made some mistakes, felt like I wasn't representing Christ enough, did some things, wondered if I was screwing everything up; the usual. But overall, I am so happy I was able to go. I'm so shocked that I have friends at school. And I can't wait to see where this all goes.

   So there's my life. I start my second semester of college next week. I got all my books this week and my photography kit came in for my black and white photography class so hopefully I'll be able to share a lot more of my photos with you like y'all voted I should.

   Thanks for reading this journal entry. (Basically.)

   I love all 111 of you. Thanks for being a part of my life.